Bloggorama Mama

Ok, first & foremost I’d like to apologize to anyone who was remotely interested in following my blog . jk, jk… ofcourse you were following my blog, why wouldn’t you be, I am a pretty interesting lil bugga. But it has been like for-ever, almost 6 months to be exact since my last entry & I do humbly apologize. But have you ever had one of those moments that you get caught up in the day to day affairs & suddenly ask yourself, “where the hell did all the time go?” or “what the hell am I doing?” Yea, that was me 6 months ago, just letting the redundancy of life taking over. Wake up, get breakfast, make lunches for the girls & get them off to school, feed the cat, feed the dog, feed the hamsters, start on some laundry, put a pot of coffee on, check my emails, enter some tweets, start drafting some blog entries, do a lil research, clean the litter, pick up the poopie & play with my pup, oooh that reminds me; what do I make for dinner tonight, dry laundry, fold laundry, go workout, sweep, dust, girls come home from school- engage in some chit-chat, hear the latest gossip, which teacher pissed them off today, make some snacks, yada, yada, yada…. Then back to the drawing board, oh yea, start on dinner, help with homework, eat dinner & enjoy some more stimulating convos with the girls, then showers & then their off to dreamland they go. A moment of silence please…..aaaaaaaaaaahhh……… now what?

Yea, after 9 ½ years of redundancy, I finally had a moment of clarity. Everyone, I mean everyone in my life, down to the lil itty bitty hamsters were taken care of, but what about me. My social life consisted of, oh wait, what social life??? My life has completely revolved around my children & their needs. And don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change a thing about that. But my eldest just graduated from high school & is about to start college, my 2nd oldest graduates high school this year & then she will be off to college & then it’ll be lil ole me & my youngest. But in a few short years, she will off into the world & then it’ll just be me. Just me….by then, life as I may have known it, would have passed me right by. I just don’t want to be that person that looks back at her life & has an ounce of regret for the decisions she’s made or the opportunities she’s let slip right through her fingers or maybe even a chance at “true” love. Sounds a bit corny I know. But, after 9 1/2 years, with maybe a handful of dates that proved to be unsuccessful, whether it be the timing was off or the company was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay off. I chose to climb back into my hole & lay dorment, well at least till now. It’s about time, don’t you think?? I am truly a hopeless romantic, who’s been forced to put that aside for much too long. I think it’s time for me to be selfish for once, to put my wants & needs first. Does that make me a bad person? a bad mother?

I just about had a heart attack when I got a phone call this morning from the health nurse at the high school, saying that my daughter was having chest pains. I swear, I bolted like a dog hit in the a$$ with a firecracker, I was out the door, wet hair, no make up & all.

Thank goodness she was ok, cuz I wasn’t. Apparently it was probably the combination of the demands & stress of 3 AP (Advanced Placement) courses she’s chose to take among the 4 other classes, late nights & lack of sleep due to the heaping mounds of work, responsibilities of her part-time job & then the added stress & anxiety of 2 AP tests this morning. And they say senior year in high school is supposed to be a breeze. Well… its supposed to be anyways. I could say, I told you so, but I guess, some things are meant for them to learn on there own. You can’t always take on, more than you can chew. ;P

I swear you don’t know how good you have it till it’s gone. Part of me wishes that things could be the way that it once was. Unable to find full time or employment at all sucks balls. Countless job applications, with little to no results, makes a person wonder & question their competence & their abilities. For me to start questioning myself, I knew I needed to stop moping around & feeling sorry for myself. I knew I had to refocus & channel my energy, but channel it where? In to what? and then it happened, my AHA! moment. The moment of all moments, the moment when things become so clear that your mind is running wild with ideas, that you can’t even manage to get them all down on paper fast enough & your rambling like a lunatic that just escaped outta the looney bin. It’s an amazing feeling!

Before I knew it, I had my online social network for single parenting moms & pops up and running, I opened up my 1st online store with my very own designed creations and then came the launch of my very own dot com blog. It’s literally been my saving grace. It doesn’t exactly pay the bills as of yet, but being able to reach out & share my random thoughts, voice my frustrations and give advice, has made this the greatest creative outlet and even surprisingly to me, overwhelmingly therapeutic. Something I know that everyone could really use about now.

I tell you, if there was ever a time, now is the time, to let go of all your fears, to dream, to dream like you once you did when you were a little kid dreaming about this wonderful life you were going to have being a doctor, a teacher, an artist, a librarian, a fashion designer, whatever the dream may have been, let it be a reality. Experience your own AHA! moment and when it happens, cuz I know it will, tell me all about it.

This July makes 3 years since I left a great job, my awesome friends & family, the place I called home for 15+ years, a place where my daughters made their 1st steps, there 1st words, experienced their 1st year in school, there 1st crush, many 1sts. Only to venture back to my home town in hopes in giving myself & my children a fresh new start, a time to reconnect with relatives we haven’t seen in years or ones we have yet to meet, take in this once in a lifetime opportunity to experience living & breathing in a foreign country, discover a part of ourselves that have yet to unfold & possibly another chapter to unravel in their book called Life.

Being a single mama, this meant having to move back in with MOM (eerie silence & then the dramatic music… dun, dun, dun) Nah, nah, all joking aside. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom. She’s always been the rock that held our family together & continued to do so even after the dreadful divorce. Unfortunately the world back in those days weren’t exactly the kindest for single parenting mamas. They certainly didn’t have all the supports & the many valuable resources we have today. So she did the best that she could. Unfortunately for her, she met & married the biggest jerk-off in the world and then started my rebellious & chaotic teen years, filled with a burning hatred toward the man that seemed to sway my mother’s better judgment. Needless to say, that’s when the countdown began, the countdown to graduation, the countdown to becoming legal & then when that day came, I left. No proper farewells, no goodbye parties, nothing, nada. Just me and my bag.

I honestly believe that getting married & bringing my first born into the world, allowed me to forgive her & open myself up to healing our relationship and release some of the resentment I had held on to for so long. Our relationship has certainly grown into this wonderful kinship over the years. She was the one person I could turn to for anything; advice on teething, breastfeeding, how to get a poop stain out, losing the baby weight, how to deal with the occasional temper tantrums, the undeniable at-ti-tude of the tumultuous teen years and throughout every trial & tribulation of my life, she has been with me every step of the way. Even if it meant to bite her tongue & agree just to be agreeable.

So when it came to moving back home, I thought it would be a walk in the park. Boy, oh boy, was I in for a rude awakening. Things are not always as they seem. I learned that really quick. Gotta tell ya, my mom was a bachelorette living the single life for 15+ years, with no one to answer to but herself, and when she got slammed with an instant family overnight, it completely flipped her world upside down & right side up. She ofcourse, may not want to admit it, but she had some major adjustments to make. Heck we all did, especially me. I’ve been on my own for years & to have to move back home to live with mom, well let’s just say, it didn’t exactly boost myself confidence. I had to tell myself over & over again, it’s only temporary, you’ll get yourself settled & reestablished and everything will be smooth sailing. No worries…. Who knew that there was a recession in the works & that unemployment would be making a record high and that was just the beginning…..

WARNING: This film is VERY graphic. But EVERY driver should see this, especially teenagers. I really cringe every time I see someone driving on the highway with one hand on the wheel & the other with a cell phone in hand. I’ve even seen drivers with both hands busy texting away, with their elbows on the wheel. That’s just insane! In Japan, they’ve banned the use of cell phones while driving. If anyone is caught, there is a hefty, hefty fine & possible prison time. I think that should be a law passed internationally. Because as far as I’m concerned, I’d rather be safe, than sorry. Wouldn’t you??

It’s my NEW HP Pink Mini Netbook with matching neoprene case!! It’s soooooo cute & girly! It’s a bloggers dream! Fits perfectly in your purse, so you can blog from just about anywhere.

What I absolutely love about it is the keyboard. It’s about the same size of a normal computer keyboard, so no feeling like your fingers are tripping all over each other. It’s wireless capable, built-in web cam & microphone, 5-in-1 media card reader, Energy Star compliant, the list could go on. It really has so much to offer in a cute, chic, affordable compact size.

It was exclusively launched on QVC in July for $424.95, which also includes 1 year subscription with McAfee virus protection & Adobe Photoshop Elements 7. There’s also a great offer on easy pay. It’s just awesome!! Make sure to check it out! You won’t be disappointed.

Don’t think so? Just look around. It’s rare not to see a person buried in their Blackberry or IPhone. Cell phones have become one of the most convenient gadgets to have. Especially with our continued advancement in technology, these handy gadgets have become the new way of communicating with our friends, families and colleagues. But for our children, they have taken it to a whole new level. Texting has become an addiction of epidemic proportions. Families all over the country are being affected by these “crazed” addicted tween/teen texters.

And I do mean “crazed” addicted. I’ve seen the affects first hand. I’ve got a daughter who practically lives & breathes with this damn device stuck to her hip. We used to have face to face conversations, but lately it’s been face to the top of her head conversations. It NEVER leaves her side & god forbid if the battery was to run out or she loses signal. Oh lordy!!! Talk about have a mental breakdown. It’s ridiculously outta control! Down to the point I’ve had to enforce rules on times that she is not allowed to text. The dinner table is definitely “off limits”.

Did you know that texting, computer usage & video games have become culprits of sleep deprivation for teenagers. Yup you heard me, “sleep deprivation”. Which then leads to debilitating migraines, impaired concentration, weakened immune systems, increased use of nicotine or caffeine, even hyperness. Isn’t that insane!! Does that sound like something a young, youthful, vibrant teenager should be suffering from? It’s just craaazzzeeee!!

According to The National Sleep Foundation, children need at least 9 hours of sleep. A survey conducted in 2006 showed that only 20% of teens got the required amount of sleep and nearly ½ slept less than 8 hrs. No wonder our youth these days suffer from obesity & these type of addictions.

What’s the definition of addiction? The state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma. Sound familiar? Ever try to stop your teen from texting? Yeah, texting certainly fits the bill to an addiction, don’t you think?

So what do you do? For me, I’ve had to lay down some strict rules for my girls on when it’s ok to use & when it’s not. I hate, dislike it very much, when you’re trying to have a conversation with them & you either find yourself, repeating your sentence several times or get half a$$ed responses. I mean come on, is it really gonna kill you if you have to wait a few seconds to give me your undivided attention? I think not.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the conveniences of texting just as much as the next person. But like anything, it has to be done in moderation. Because to much of a good thing, is not a good thing.

My mama got me my “dream” camera yesterday!!! My beautifully amazing Canon EOS 50D with EF-S18-200mm Lens. Like oh my gosh!! When she said she was getting it for me, my mouth fell open & I felt like my stomach was going to fall out of my butt.

First reaction, “Holy hell mom, no ways, it’s way to much!!” Even though I was jumping up & down with excitement like a lil kid in a candy store. But she just twisted my arm so badly, I just couldn’t fight her. he…he.. yea right….

There’s so many features on this bad boy. Definitely an upgrade from my ole faithful Olympus D-540 Zoom digital camera. The Canon EOS 50D is the perfect camera for the novice to the pro, great combination of high speed and quality. So be prepared, you may experience some serious photo overload.

I got an email for a job the other day, so I quickly sent off my application that evening & got a call for an interview the following morning. I was stoked! I mean, how many people get a response that quickly right. So today was “THEE DAY” and boy was it hectic. Running one daughter to her job orientation, the other daughter to work, only to find out her shift was cancelled due to weather. Then back to pick up the 1st daughter to drop her off at her new job. Then rushed home to drop 2nd daughter with the 3rd, then freshen up & off to my job interview. I had all the time in the world, that’s of course until I took a wrong turn, into the wrong drive way. Then by the time I found the right road, the right driveway, time had run out. I arrive at the office with the Regional Manager greeting me at the door. Yikes!! 2 minutes late! Holy moly!

The little pitter patter in my chest, turned to percussions & a drum set pounding so hard, I thought I’d literally crap myself. Just breathe, I tell myself, just breathe. Thank goodness her associate starts off the interview talking about the organization & what the position would entail. Awesome! I get a chance to catch my breath, well at least for a moment. Then the interview starts, hearts beating faster & faster, but I keep my cool, answering every question to a T & then it happens…I don’t know where it all went wrong, but I lost it, my cool that is, my mouth starts babbling & rambling about god knows what. My nerves were completely shot! I quickly refocused, gained control of my unwavering mouth & ended the interview on a good note. Well… at least I hope so.

There’s only been a few times that I felt this defeated. One was having to move back in with my mom after 17 years on my own, two was moving back to my home town & not being able to find work (unfortunately I happened to move back when the economy started plummeting to hell, so that certainly didn’t help) & three would definitely be this last interview. When I got home, I quickly wrote & sent out a “thank you for the interview” letter, since this will probably be my saving grace, if there is any.

If I get a job offer, they must have seen one of my many good qualities, through all the rambling nonsense. If there is no offer, I take the experience, hit the “practice” board yet again, convince myself that it wasn’t meant to be and hope & pray that I get another opportunity to come my way. Until then, it’s just you, me & this blog.