Reflection
This July makes 3 years since I left a great job, my awesome friends & family, the place I called home for 15+ years, a place where my daughters made their 1st steps, there 1st words, experienced their 1st year in school, there 1st crush, many 1sts. Only to venture back to my home town in hopes in giving myself & my children a fresh new start, a time to reconnect with relatives we haven’t seen in years or ones we have yet to meet, take in this once in a lifetime opportunity to experience living & breathing in a foreign country, discover a part of ourselves that have yet to unfold & possibly another chapter to unravel in their book called Life.
Being a single mama, this meant having to move back in with MOM (eerie silence & then the dramatic music… dun, dun, dun) Nah, nah, all joking aside. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom. She’s always been the rock that held our family together & continued to do so even after the dreadful divorce. Unfortunately the world back in those days weren’t exactly the kindest for single parenting mamas. They certainly didn’t have all the supports & the many valuable resources we have today. So she did the best that she could. Unfortunately for her, she met & married the biggest jerk-off in the world and then started my rebellious & chaotic teen years, filled with a burning hatred toward the man that seemed to sway my mother’s better judgment. Needless to say, that’s when the countdown began, the countdown to graduation, the countdown to becoming legal & then when that day came, I left. No proper farewells, no goodbye parties, nothing, nada. Just me and my bag.
I honestly believe that getting married & bringing my first born into the world, allowed me to forgive her & open myself up to healing our relationship and release some of the resentment I had held on to for so long. Our relationship has certainly grown into this wonderful kinship over the years. She was the one person I could turn to for anything; advice on teething, breastfeeding, how to get a poop stain out, losing the baby weight, how to deal with the occasional temper tantrums, the undeniable at-ti-tude of the tumultuous teen years and throughout every trial & tribulation of my life, she has been with me every step of the way. Even if it meant to bite her tongue & agree just to be agreeable.
So when it came to moving back home, I thought it would be a walk in the park. Boy, oh boy, was I in for a rude awakening. Things are not always as they seem. I learned that really quick. Gotta tell ya, my mom was a bachelorette living the single life for 15+ years, with no one to answer to but herself, and when she got slammed with an instant family overnight, it completely flipped her world upside down & right side up. She ofcourse, may not want to admit it, but she had some major adjustments to make. Heck we all did, especially me. I’ve been on my own for years & to have to move back home to live with mom, well let’s just say, it didn’t exactly boost myself confidence. I had to tell myself over & over again, it’s only temporary, you’ll get yourself settled & reestablished and everything will be smooth sailing. No worries…. Who knew that there was a recession in the works & that unemployment would be making a record high and that was just the beginning…..
